How to be happy though human / by W. Béran Wolfe.

in a friend or relative by remembering these occasions if only by a card or a telephone call. Human relations are built around a structural framework of philanthropy, sympathy, honesty, and helpfulness, but the single bricks which give the house of friendship its unique facade are cemented by trivial favours and inconsequential affirma¬ tions of regard. A patient once came to my office crying bitterly because her husband had neglected her on her birthday. The husband had, she admitted, handed her a package con¬ taining ,£20,000 worth of stock in his company, but he had neglected to send her the yellow roses which had always been the sign of his love and affection on previous anniversaries. Objectively we may agree with the husband that her demands were somewhat unreasonable, in the light of his more valuable gift, but we know that many marriages go on the rocks of unhappiness just because a husband or a wife neglects the little things that count. The Fine Art of Making Presents This brings* us to the very practical consideration of gifts. There are two kinds of gifts. You either give something you like and value highly, or you go out of vour way to give something that will be valuable to the person you desire to honour. Many people choose the former, or projective type of giving, which includes that useless prostitution of giving, the giving of gifts for reasons of duty, custom, or the like. This is the easiest and the worst—way to make a present. When you give a small boy who is aching to have a new tennis racket, a copy of Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations because of some vague hope that it may do him good, you practise a sub¬ jective-projective giving. You might just as well never give anything as make an inappropriate, casual, or inconsidered gift. The only proper giving is giving which represents the donor’s active identification with the presentee’s pattern of life. Such empathy takes more time, but it enriches both him who gives and him who