How to be happy though human / by W. Béran Wolfe.

and need an additional training, the following technique may prove valuable. It may be stated almost as a psychological law that every human being, no matter how great or powerful, is discouraged in some degree, or in some special facet of his life. The neurotic, however, believes that his dis¬ couragement and his distress are unique. He acts as if everyone else in the world were a superman, and he alone an impotent worm, incapable of meeting people without qualms of conscience and self-consciousness. As a matter of fact, some of the people whom the isolated neurotic most envies because of their ready ease in social situa¬ tions, are themselves the most discouraged, and, like the small boy who whistles in the dark to keep himself from trembling with fear, they over-act their courage in order to hide their own perplexity from their fellows. We have already learned that the pattern of every individual's life is a stream from an imagined “ minus ” situation to an imagined “ plus ” situation. What we must do, if we wish to make a new acquaintance, is to guess his goal from his actions—with a little practice this is not at all difficult—and tell him something that will encourage him along the path which he is taking, to show that we appreciate his ends and are aware of his success. To those who are expert in this art it is not difficult to divert an individual from a false pattern into a good one, and this is the essence of psychotherapy. In other words, when we wish to teach someone a new behaviour pattern, we must make our suggestions seem to fit into his pattern, although we know all the time that if he takes our suggestions he will drift imperceptibly into a new and better pattern. The Technique of Empathy The technique of empathy is best illustrated by the story of the town fool and the lost donkey. In a small Russian town which boasted but a single donkey, great consternation was caused by the donkey’s sudden and