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important. We are not in favour of arranged marriages
because they are usually arranged for the benefit of the
parents and not for the happiness of the married couple.
But we do firmly believe that “ being in love ” is not
the condition a priori without which marriage and love
are inconceivable.
A great many marriages would turn out more happily
if the contracting parties gave less thought to love, and
more to the matter of financial budgets, the pedagogic
principles according to which the children were to be
educated, the mutual use of leisure, the past performances
in social cooperation, the willingness of each to share
responsibility, and the like. When a man goes into
a business venture or partnership for no better reason
than that he likes the look of the office furniture, he is
put down as a fool by his associates, but the same man,
entering into marriage with a girl because she has a
pretty figure, plays bridge well, and likes to go to cocktail
parties, is congratulated by his friends.
Ten years later he is having an affair with his secretary ;
his wife is a chronic alcoholic, both are extremely
unhappy, and remain together solely for the sake of their
child, the neglected football which is kicked between the
goal-posts of their antithetical egoisms. This is a
common result of falling in love without considering more
mundane prerequisites for marital cooperation before
marrying. The expected marital happiness expressed in
the phrase “ and they lived happily ever after ” is seldom
the result of such flimsy and stupid
choice of a mate.
Mature hove v. Romantic hove
Men and women would be far happier if they planned
their marital relationships according to the deep com¬
patibilities of social, intellectual, and occupational
interests, responsibilities toward children and State,
mutual helpfulness, and acted “as if” love might be the
reward of five or ten years of successful cooperation.
bungling in the