Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

" I do, indeed/' responded Paulus Androcydes, laugh- ingly, " and confess to a decided liking for the good things of modern life, including wine and beer, and can assure you that nothing is better for post-prandial neu- ralgia than an infusion of cabbage seed, drunk like tea, while piping hot." " Alas ! poor stomach ! " cried Athothis, pityingly. " Yet this is a simpler remedy than the morphine and chloral with which modern doctors antidote alcohol— agents which in themselves only tend to congest an al- ready poisoned brain. " I notice many Hebrews in the gathering below; and, strange spectacle, they are eating salt with butter and wiencrivurst. Shades of Moses, behold! In place of the tarosli or unfermented wine these children of Israel are drinking ya-i/in, and still more uncleanly beer." " The liberal spirit of the age is breaking down the barriers of ancient superstition," said Paulus Androcydes, triumphantly. " This is a century of religious progress, and these Jews care not to be longer bound down by ig- norant customs. The word kosher is now obsolete ; for, lo ! my Semitic friends swallow cove oysters with the same relish as they do hog sausage." " This liberal spirit of the age seems to be, as in olden times, only the spirit of Set," retorted Athothis. " The voice of the prophet is no longer respected. The invoca- tion of Micali, c Thou shalt not drink wine,' is forgotten, and Isaiah's warning, ' Strong drink shall be bitter for them that use it,' goes unheeded; and yet they say within themselves, We had Abraham for a father." "Shalom Alechem!" remarked Paulus Androcydes, chidingly.