Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

" Can spirits ride ?" asked Paulus Androcydes, in a tone of surprise. " Spirits can ride, walk, fly, eat, drink, sleep, love and be loved," answered Athothis. " What! eat and drink ?" cried Paulus Androcydes, in amazement. " Can it be possible that immaterial bodies need material alimentation ? What becomes of the un- assimilated product of digestion?'' Athothis laughed merrily at this query, but responded : " Spirits have no need of food, but can gratify their tastes and desires, even as mortals, if it please them so to do. I might assert, for instance, that the April showers that bring forth May flowers are merely the result of spiritual renal action, but forbear, lest I be accused of indelicacy. Here is the phaeton ! Let us ride on the old fashioned spiral rear springs." And, even as he spoke, the spirits took their places on the end of the slowly moving vehicle. The mortal occupants of the phaeton were two plainly dressed men: one gray bearded, with really handsome fea- tures, healthy ruddy complexion and clear blue eyes; the other, a young man of two and twenty, with dark com- plexion and luminous bright orbs. They were evidently discussing the medical profession; for as the spirits ar- rived, the older man was remarking: " I believe the vast majority of practitioners are satisfied with merely telling patients their ailments." " That may be true, Doctor Rusticus," answered the younger individual; " yet no patient is satisfied unless his physicians make a diagnosis, for when a man is ill and sends for a medical adviser he invariably inquires, ' Doc- tor, what ails me V as though the physician's opinion would make one of the laity any the wiser. Thus, the