Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

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drugs as a regular article of diet. The result was, our physicians had but little to do. I now understand why modern practitioners are so numerous and so busy. Know, mortal, that you should encourage, rather than discountenance, the manufacture of these nostrums. Make mankind believe in medicine, whether it be practiced wholesale or retail. In this room alone are poisons sufficient to undermine ten thousand healthy con- stitutions. Yea! every bottle sold will make patients for your glorious profession." " I admire your gentle irony," said Paulus Androcy- des, smiling spiritually. " Yet, this state of public affairs vexes me exceedingly, inasmuch as these patent medicine interests are largely fostered by our eminent divines, legal statesmen, and highly intellectual newspaper editors." "Behold the indorsement on the bottles of Hippocrates' Hemorrhoid Healer," said Athothis. " Here are the names of farmers and merchants by the score. Listen, while I read a few of these certificates: " Amoosegeapolis, Maine. " Doctor Charlatan. "Sir: After taking seven bottles (price, $1.50 each) of your valuable Hippocrates' Hemorrhoid Healer, I completely recov- ered from my malady, and for the first time in years preached a really eloquent sermon last Sabbath. Your remedy is a gift from Providence, and I shall advise my congregation to use the same. "Yours truly, "D. Vine Gosling, D. D. " P. S.—Send me another full case by express, C. 0. D. " bourbonville, kentucky. "Doctor Charlatan. "Dear Sir : I joined the temperance society of this city, a short time since, a total wreck in mind and body, from the disease known as hemorrhoids. I was in miserable health until last