Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

this, in tones of sincere admiration. " Soother is human- ity, charity, and medicine combined." " He is an old crank ! " cried Paulus Androcydes. " He is a true philanthropist! " replied Athothis. " The very idea of giving a sick man onion soup ! " ex- claimed Paulus Androcydes, in accents of disgust. " Soups may be proper in this case, but, I decidedly object to the onion." " Doctor Soother is really a skilled physician, said Athothis, musingly, " and his views of this case are per- fectly correct. I read his mind as he carefully examined the patient's symptoms and made his deductions ; and I felt a sympathy for the doctor when he came to prescribe and was obliged to deplete his own lean pocket-book in order to fatten up the sick man. How different is the fate of this client and the one now being treated by Bil- lem, Pillem, and Killem. In the latter case the attending physicians know an immense estate will be left, and that the grateful heirs will not quibble over a large fee ; but this pauper patient has secured the services of a doctor who intends to use the best possible medical judgment for the mere love of healing. Blessed are the poor, for they shall receive the first fruits of medical wisdom, while the rich must suffer from professional ignorance and avarice. Doctors Billem, Pillem, and Killem are mere mushrooms, living off the manure heap of knowledge ; while this plain old crank, as you term him, is a gentleman of intelligence and withal has a heart. Yet I fear that Soother's practice in the future as in the past, will be limited to the poorer classes from a sheer love for doing good. He will never allow his at- tention to be attracted from his professional studies by such trivial matters as soap and water, nor will he have