Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

mograph, thermometer, and other scientific instruments of precision." " Let us concede that these medical scientists have carefully examined the patient, and tested all their in- struments of precision," replied Athothis; "nevertheless you must admit that their deductions are entirely wrong, and that they have made three distinct maladies out of a simple case of indigestion. You heard the remarkable proposition of Professor Pillem, that a microscopical section of the pyramids of the kidney would reveal cer- tain morbid changes. This is a mere reflection on death, as the patient must of necessity die in order to verify the statement. Such remarks are common among mod- ern physicians, who seem more prone to study the effects produced by disease rather than to study its treatment. In my time, specialists were more numerous than now; in fact, the ancient Egyptian overdid the business. Yet, my countrymen were not monomaniacs on the subject of their own specialties, like Billem and Pillem, the former of whom diagnoses only diseases of the nervous system, while the latter recognizes no organ save the kidneys. These men judge all maladies by their own standard— like Aretaeus, of Cappadocia, whose knowledge was lim- ited to ague. Mallebranche, who lived centuries after Aretaeus, and appropriated his peculiar ideas, says: 'A new malady makes ravages that surprise the world. If this malady is called the scurvy, all diseases must be called scurvy. The scurvy is new, hence all new dis- eases must be scurvy. The scurvy is accompanied by dozens of symptoms which are common to other diseases. This makes no difference, for if the patient has any of these symptoms the disease must be scurvy; ergo, the sick man must take the treatment laid down for scurvy !'