Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

and contingent fee. He can not drink in public at present, as he is up before the people for an office, and the opposition newspapers might publish some sensa- tional story in regard to his having been seen under the influence of liquor. He really needs the ministration of the clergy, and so has asked the Reverend Timotheus Saint John to break bread with him." " Here come beautiful red strawberries, green Malaga grapes, and golden oranges!" exclaimed Athothis. " The fruit is delicious," replied Paulus Androcydes. " The grapes are from sunny Spain, and, if we are to believe Galen, should be eaten at the beginning of a meal, and not at the mensa secunda. These strawberries would have inspired Virgil and Ovid to sing their praises anew. Strange fact, that no very ancient writers men- tion the orange." "What is this white, sugar-sprinkled mass of half- baked flour ?" inquired Athothis, trembling in spiritual fear, as a chop-whiskered waiter in swallow-tail coat de- posited the pastry on the table. " That," answered Paulus Androcydes," in a tone of triumph, " that mass of unripe apples and tenacious dough is the greatest of modern inventions in the inter- est-of the doctor. That is the glorious pie of my native land." " What a pie !" cried Athothis. " Can it be that I see that most horrible invention of Set for destroying the human stomach ? Quick, my friend, let us fly from this dreadful place! For know, that if pork hath killed its hundreds, pie hath slain its thousands. Away ! away !" And the two spirits flew out of the restaurant so rapidly as to create a whirlwind, blowing over a wooden sign