Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

" They are now administering chloroform/' responded Paulus Androcydes; " and soon the little one will be unconscious of all pain. Ah ! my Egyptian friend ! the ancients never knew the marvels of anaesthesia." " We had the lapis memphiticus" answered Athothis, dryly, "the which, when taken in a little wine, destroyed all physical sensibility, without blunting the mental faculties. See how this poor child struggles, cries, and gasps in terror and pain, as the surgeons hold it down, preparatory to using the poisonous vapor. The child is now insensible and livid; and what is that curious appa- ratus that projects a minute shower of spray over the patient's uncovered throat, as the surgeon's knife pene- trates the tender young tissues ? " " That," replied Paulus Androcydes, proudly, " is an- other triumph of modern surgery. 'Tis carbolic acid spray, thrown from an atomizer, to scare off and destroy all germs which have the audacity to linger in the vicinity of the gaping incision; for, alarmed at the presence of this potent agent, the low forms of animal life will retire to a safe distance, and all danger of infection is past." " This reminds me of the Chinese, who beat gongs and fire off shooting-crackers, to keep away the demons of the air," murmured Athothis, quietly. "And their remedy is equally as efficacious. Cast your spiritual vision through the bodies of these surgeons, and see contained therein precisely the same low organisms as are observed in the child. Yet, they claim to be healthy, while the little one is ill. Look through the atmosphere of the room, and out in the open air beyond, and you will notice billions on billions of organizations exhaled from the animal and vegetable kingdoms. Each breath inspired 12