Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

and announced his desire for a new doctor. Dozens of celebrated practitioners applied for the high honor, and His Holiness invariably asked each aspiring candidate, "How many patients have you killed ?" and the univer- sal reply was, " I do not kill; my practice is to cure," and were promptly shown the door. Finally, one bright Summer's morning, a ragged, shabby-looking fellow craved an audience, and in response to the Pope's usual query answered, " Tot quot." Whereupon his holiness em- braced the obscure individual, saying: " Thou art my choice ; for verily thy truthfulness begets faith, and with- out faith one can not be sa\ed." "Si non e vero e ben trovato!" remarked Paulus An- drocycles, sarcastically. " I suppose that you have met this wise old Pope in some of your numerous transmigra- tions ? " " You are wrong," answered Athothis, softly. " Such rare wisdom reaped its just reward; for His Holiness was spiritually translated and never suffered the pains and tortures of transmigration. His knowledge of human nature, especially of doctors, made him infallible. He has been canonized above." " Behold a modern physician driving under us now ! " cried Paulus Androcydes. " Look at his trim figure attired in the faultless costume of the period; view his shining silk hat and exquisitely fitting boots; note his lemon-colored kid gloves and dainty button-hole bouquet; observe the graceful nonchalance with which he leans back on the satin-covered cushions of his elegant coupe. He is absorbing wisdom from the book he so eagerly peruses. See how the people gaze in admiration as the equipage rolls past and mentally exclaim: " What a