How to be happy though human / by W. Béran Wolfe.
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support our efforts to attain our unconscious goal. Many
people recall some tragic event in childhood, and say,
“ Since the time I had whooping cough I have never been
happy ! ”, or “If I had not been»attacked by a big
black dog, I should not be so timid now ! ”. No event
of your childhood can oblige you to lead an unhappy life,
but, if you find yourself unhappy, it is frequently very
comforting to be in a position to place the blame for your
shortcomings on some so-called “ traumatic ” event of
childhood. Whole systems of psychology have been built
up on this fallacy.
We make our memories just as we make our experiences
to fit into the dynamic patterns of our life. This is part
of the creative activity of every human being. Very
frequently we rationalize our experiences, and act “ as
if ” these childhood memories were actually reasons or
causes for behaviour. As a matter of fact, we invest these
childhood recollections with fictional dynamics which
they do not inherently possess. Our childhood recollec¬
tions are often myths which we create in order to
rationalize our present behaviour. Memories cannot cause
behaviour unless we choose to believe in their motive power.
Why is it, then, that some people remember their
childhood more clearly than others ? Why can some
men remember important current material, names,
addresses, and the like, while their neighbours have not
this power ? Look to the goal of the individual and you
can almost predict his memories. The spoiled child who
senses his childhood as a lost paradise, and the present
as a brutal prison-house full of disappointments and
chagrins, will remember the past far better than he will
remember matter important for the present conduct of
his life. His goal is a goal of retreat. He is more interested
in old roads which lead to joys he experienced in the
dim distance of childhood than in a map of the roads
to the uncertainties of the future. Those who cannot
remember the names of their friends demonstrate their
essential misanthropy. They are not interested in people
because their goal is a goal of selfish isolation.