Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

learned and swell young man is Doctor Beaumonde ! He studies medicine even while driving to visit his patients ! " " Yes! " responded Athothis, laughing in high glee. " He is reading indeed; but cast your spiritual eyes on the title-page of the volume, and behold, ' The Crushed Heart, a Romance of Cardiac Affection.'" "You are right!" exclaimed Paulus Androcydes, smilingly. " Yet, Doctor Beaumonde enjoys a large practice among the fashionable fair sex; and no social gathering is complete without his presence. He is the cynosure of all eyes as he enters a drawing-room. His manners are simply perfect, and polite society fairly worships the young doctor. His, is the most extravagant and elaborate wardrobe in the city. No one knows this better than his tailor, who is obliged to take out his bill in professional services. Doctor Beaumonde is now on his way to call on one of his fair lady clients, who is suf- fering from that fashionable malady known as neurasthe- nic malaria. She contracted this affection at the last Charity Ball, the doctor being her medical attendant at the time. His carriage will linger in front of her pala- tial mansion for an hour, until the curious and inquisitive neighbors are duly impressed with the serious nature of the case; while within Doctor Beaumonde will discourse on the last new figure in the German, the physical bene- fits of the waltz, champagne as a sovereign remedy for sea sickness, clubs and bars as cures for masculine dys- pepsia ; then he will look at his patient's tongue, feel her pulse ever so tenderly, indite a prescription, and take his leave. The lady's husband, in the meanwhile, will be worrying over his ledger down town, endeavoring to conjure up some plan for increasing his income, for he has many large bills to pay, among the least of which is