Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

" Nay ! Let us tarry a moment," expostulated Atho- this. " Why would your merely looking into the mys- teries of this trade lead to your expulsion from your pro- fession ?" " I should be violating that most sacred of earthly things, our Code of Ethics," responded Paulus Andro- cydes, solemnly, " and would deserve the most severe censure. Know, that our great contract is, not to associate with charlatans." "And do you live up to the requirements of this won- derful agreement ?" asked Athothis, in a voice of com- passion. " I strive to live up to the rules," answered Paulus Androcydes, with dignity. " Nevertheless, you meet the worst pretenders and most ignorant practitioners daily in professional inter- course," retorted Athothis, sternly. " The older mem- bers of your societies are eternally preaching what they do not practice, i. e., medical honesty. Your code, as now construed by the mass of doctors, means hypocrisy in business—the senior taking advantage of the junior on every possible occasion. Quiet your spiritual con- science ; for, I assure you, our being here is a mere acci- dent, and we may learn something even in such a shop. For instance, note the accurate system and order main- tained ; observe the various and ingenious mechanical appliances for bottling, labeling, and wrapping the mur- derous nostrums. This branch of popular medicine is well worth a philosophic study. Here physic is reduced to a science. This is the school of specifics. Look at the hundreds of loaded down shelves, and read the orna- mental labels, printed in the highest style of art, in order to attract the curious eyes of the ever credulous