Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.

Besides, in this climate we would perish from cold, were it not for our artificial outer coverings, which, although made from various fabrics, are absolutely necessary to protect health. Even in a spiritual state clothing seems essential, since your own princely form is invested in the dematerialized drapery of the first dynasty." " We arrayed ourselves in fine linen and other vege- table textures even in my time," replied Athothis. " Yet, men and women did not deform their bodies as now. Your proud and arrogant Caucasians laugh the Mongo- lians to scorn, because forsooth they make women's feet small by artificial methods; yet your people contract their brains with tight hats, and induce epilepsy and im- becility among your infants by contracted head cover- ings. Look at those gentlemen passing down the central aisle in search of seats, carrying their silken helmets in their hands. Methinks the classical Greek and Roman warriors would expire from laughter on seeing such card-board imitations of metallic crown protectors. Such articles of costume provoke baldness and neu- ralgia." " You should read Foville," interrupted Paulus An- drocydes, " and would, no doubt, agree with him as to the injurious effects of modern European head coverings. Notice how the close-fitting neckties and collars worn by these men and women interfere with the circulation of the blood between the head and heart, creating a venous stasis. Look at the prominent and projectiug Caucasian eye. My people are subjects of apoplexy, vertigo, and nose-bleed ; for the carotid arteries are con- stantly forcing blood in the cerebrum, and its prompt return to the lungs and heart is prevented by our close collars and cravats. Behold our modern tight-fitting