Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.
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and leave him a million dollars to manage. Toiler's car- riage will stop at the widow's mansion for only a few moments, as the doctor wastes no time on long calls. He will prescribe numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, as the case may seem to indicate, and retire as rapidly as he came." " Here comes another doctor's chariot! " cried Atho- this. " What a gorgeous turnout! 'T is a superb livery, and the gold-mounted harness fairly glitters in the sun; but see the vacant-looking stare of the occupant as he steadfastly gazes at the gilt buttons on his driver's coat tail. He looks like a German theological student, with his snow-white choker, long black suit, and plain glass spectacles. His head is all out of proportion to his feet, which are large; and yet methinks his brow seems over- cast by a sickly gleam of intelligence. He has a small black patent-leather case on the cushion beside him. Perhaps it holds instruments, and he is some young rising surgeon !" " It is Doctor Moonshine," said Paulus Androcydes. " He is one of our leading homeopathic practitioners; and permit me to say that he deserves great credit for the manner in which he has pushed himself to the front. Ten years ago he was a stable boy, and picked up a smattering of veterinary medicine from giving boluses and enemas to horses. But, coming to the conclusion, like numerous other bright minds of the age, that he had talent of a high order, he entered the infinitesimal de- partment of Humbug University, and graduated in six months, his thesis on " The Quadrillioneth of a Grain of Mephitis Americana in Flatulence" attracting wide- spread attention from the advocates of the sugar-pellet school. Really the fellow is utterly ignorant of anatomy, physiology, and pathology, and misspells the names of