Athothis : a satire on modern medicine / by Thomas C. Minor.
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chest and back in the most approved scientific fashion ; after which, taking an exceedingly small wooden stetho- scope, and applying it to the patient's heart, he listened attentively. In the meantime, the gaping crowd of students watched the sick woman with morbid curiosity. Presently, Professor Borborygmus stood erect and facing the audience, placed the index finger of his right hand on the side of his nose, gave a knowing look, and ex- claimed, "Aha! 'Tis as I expected. Doctor Podo- phyllum of the Eclectic College has made a fatal error in diagnosis. This woman has no heart disease, but caseous pneumonia, and the autopsy which will be made in a few days will reveal the truth of my assertion. I shall re- quest Professor Postobit, our talented pathologist, to preserve the morbid specimen for the future inspection of the class." Then, turning to the nurse, he added in sepulchral tones, " Bring in the woman with cancer from Ward B!" " Look at this intelligent class of students!" said Paulus Androcydes. "What a debt of gratitude they owe to Bottoni, De Heune, and Sylvius, the real origi- nators of the modern clinic. Great is the public hos- pital, for here are exhibited, for the instruction of stu- dents, all the protean forms of disease. Here the seeker after knowledge learns from actual observation the true value of symptomatology, and the proper application of remedial agents." " This new method of instruction is no better than the old ! " observed Athothis. " The Arabian physicians and the school of Alexandria taught students in the same manner, and patients in former ages no more relished the attention of medical classes than the poor sick woman just removed from the amphitheater. This is the quie-