How to be happy though human / by W. Béran Wolfe.
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regard to the technique of living. There are people who
cannot bear to be in the wrong. They must have the last
word at all costs. Their insistence either intimidates
their adversaries into submission or arouses their natural
resistance. We see the most bitter and unnecessary
controversies arising from the attempts of neurotics to
prove their point at all costs. It is almost universally true
that the more noise a man makes in an argument or
discussion, the greater the likelihood that he is in the
wrong and that he has to bolster up the weakness of his
arguments by the loudness of his protestations.
Peaceful social intercourse can exist only in a society
of mentally mature individuals. You can achieve a great
deal of happiness and gain an enormous host of friends
if you will incorporate the wisdom of social relativity not
only into your major vital activities but also into your
most unimportant conversations. Remember that your
neighbour is likely to be just as discouraged as you are.
If you wish to convince him of a point, or teach him a new
technique, minimize the distance between your superior
position of knowledge and his inferior position^ of
ignorance. No one likes to be inferior ; no one enjoys
ignorance. You will find the greatest souls among the
most modest men, the best teachers among those who
get down on the floor with their pupils. Conscious
modesty in attitude, quietness in gesture, combined with
firmness of purpose and decision, mark the well-adjusted
adult.
Some Useful Hints on Controversy
To this end it is wise to eschew all words of finality and
superiority. The words “ absolutely ”, “ certainly ”,
“ always ”, “ never ”, and the like have little place in the
vocabulary of the happy man. If after mature thought
and consideration you really believe in the truth of a certain
proposition, and wish to convey it to another, it is always
best to put it in such a form that your listener can accept
your word without losing his self-esteem. To this end it
is sometimes the part of wisdom to wink at the truth.